Dear Facebook Friends

Dear Facebook Friends,

First of all, hi. I probably don’t post on your walls anymore or chat with you like I should, so we probably haven’t talked in a while. I hope things are going well for you.

I know I don’t really keep a correspondence with you, but that’s really the amazing thing about Facebook, isn’t it? You post enough status updates and pictures that all I have to do is check my news feed to see what you’ve been up to. I feel like if we were to talk, there’d really be nothing to talk about because I know it all already. So when my mom asks me, “did you hear so-and-so is pregnant?” I can say, “yeah, I saw it on Facebook.” ‘Nuff said.

There are positives to Facebook. It’s been (for the most part) nice to have my family all on one shared space. We can keep track of each other more easily now, especially since at the moment we’re pretty spread out. Also, it gives me an easier way to keep track of people I went to high school with. It’s nice to see how everyone is progressing in life and the success they’ve achieved, even if we don’t talk anymore. And I’ll be honest, when I’m bored out of my mind, I have a space where I can stalk my friends and their profiles. Don’t judge me; you know you do it, too. It’s a pretty fun way to pass the time and keep up on the latest gossip.

There are, however, just a few things that bother me.

First of all, if you are all about FarmVille or Aqualand or whatever else you can do on there, great for you. I’m happy for you really. But after the first 8 times you’ve invited me to play and I’ve ignored it, do me a favor and STOP INVITING ME. I feel like even if I block the application, you somehow find a way to get back to me. It seems anymore that there are millions of other games and no matter how much I hide, they still find me. Same goes for quizzes. Ugh, the quizzes…

I also don’t want to be a part of any cause. I’m not heartless; I donate to charity and take part in causes that are close to my heart. But I’ve also learned about how the causes on Facebook (from now on referred to as FB because I’m lazy) are almost always hoaxes. After the Haiti Earthquake, there was a group created that said if they got to x amount of members then FB would donate x amount of dollars. It turned out to be a hoax. Yes, there are disgusting people out there who will scam for charity dollars in the wake of a disaster. The worst thing is, people just suck it up and believe it. Here’s a little tip about the internet; it’s NOT safe. You can’t believe everything you read and you can’t buy into crap like that. If you really want to help a relief effort, call the Red Cross. Don’t just join some group that ANYONE can make.

That’s another thing that bothers me. Even though I’ve made my profile as private as I can possibly make it, I’ve been getting random people, possibly bots, trying to add me as a friend. I’ve watched enough To Catch a Predator to know that you don’t just add random people. First of all, you have no idea if they really are who they are representing on their profiles. Secondly, why do you want someone you’ve never met knowing your business? Right now, I have 370 friends. It seems like a lot, but I know every single person on my list, be it family, friends, people I graduated high school with, or people in my college classes. Even if we aren’t the best of friends, I at least know them and have had a face to face conversation with every person on that list. Be smart about it people.

Lastly, and what this blog is really about, is I just ask that you PLEASE remember that FB is a PUBLIC FORUM. I know a lot of people who get annoyed when their friends’ statuses are consistently “I <3 My Boyfriend sooooooooooooooooo much <3<3<3” but really I don’t mind it. If you’re happy, be happy. But please don’t post intimate details about your relationship. I don’t need to know how great your mate is in the sack. I mean good for you, but is anything private anymore?

People who publicize their breakups through FB are the most appalling to me. There’s a joke that goes around that states nothing is official unless it’s on FB. So, if you’re in a relationship, it’s not legitimate until your relationship status is changed on your profile. There is nothing creepier to me than people who comment on relationship statuses, especially when the person has gone from “in a relationship” to “single.” My boyfriend and I had a rocky start at the beginning of our relationship, and our silly relationship status changed a few times within a few weeks (we’re classy as well). Every time it changed, I asked him to go physically delete the notification from his page. I didn’t want anyone to have the option of commenting on our ups and downs. I thought it was just creepy and intrusive. But at the same time, I’d like our relationship acknowledged on the side of my page. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

But there are people I am friends with who post about their breakups in their statues, and even worse the scorned partner is commenting back to it. All on the page! Why do you want all of this arguing and name calling going on where over 300 people can see it? Do you really starve for all that attention? Aren’t you embarrassed at all? Look at it this way; say you were at some sort of big event, say a graduation ceremony. You get in a fight with your significant other in the middle of the ceremony. Instead of saving the argument for the privacy of your own home, or going outside at the least, you stand up and begin to scream obscenities at each other…in front of a gym full of people. If you find that as absurd as I do, then maybe you should work your problems out just the two of you and not where everyone can see, or god forbid, comment along with you.

I think that people really forget that FB is a public place. It still baffles me that I can get to everything on a person’s profile that I’m not friends with. I’m sure most of you while reading this have said “if you don’t like it so much, then why don’t you delete it?” Like I said earlier, it really is super convenient to keep track of people. I don’t have a lot of time to call or email people, so it’s nice to see what they’re up to these days. But I also know that not everyone on my list is my best friend, so I don’t need to know every little thing. I in turn, don’t want people to know every little thing about me, especially not my relationships.

Anyways, dear Facebook friends, remember that everyone can see your profile. Be smart about what you say or do. And don’t annoy your friends (i.e. me) with anymore FarmVille invitations.

XOXO- Jess

PS- Funny Article to Read if you want:

12 Most Annoying Facebookers