Shame on them? Or shame on YOU?

Glee is by far my favorite show on television. Anyone who is my Facebook friends knows this. I download all of the songs after each episode. I’m a musical freak, so being able to watch a musical once a week. But let’s just get that out of the way, I may be a little obsessed.

Glee has seen its share of controversy this season, especially with a certain magazine spread, but the newest one I read about this season really caught my attention.

The scene in question stars Gwyneth Paltrow as a substitute in Spanish, asking the students to repeat, “Lindsay Lohan is totally crazy, right?” in Spanish. Then, she asks the class in Spanish, “How many times has Lindsay Lohan been to rehab?”

“Five times. Five”

When the character Kurt knocks on the door to speak to her, she asks the class to “Please get into groups and discuss how many times Lindsay Lohan has been in rehab.”

(see the clip of the scene on TMZ here)

Apparently, momma Lohan didn’t like the joke too much. Apparently, Dina Lohan was quoted as saying “Shame on them,” and that the family feels it was “tasteless.”

I feel like in any other situation, this may be tasteless. But in Lindsay Lohan’s? I can’t say I feel too bad for her. She’s been to rehab 5 TIMES and she’s only 24. 5 times and she’s only been able to legally drink for 3 years. 5 times in rehab, one stint in jail, and some high profile run ins with the law (including a car chase) and she wonders why she is a tabloid darling.

I considered before writing a piece about celebrity right to privacy. There’s a fine line; in one sense they should have the same basic privacy rights that we all enjoy as Americans. Yet, they have put themselves in the public eye. They are FAMOUS. How much privacy should they expect?

And let’s be honest, if Lindsay Lohan wanted privacy, she wouldn’t do the things she does, especially in the public eye. You’re an actress; if you’re going to go out and get wasted and snort cocaine, hire a driver. You would have saved yourself a lot of trouble.

I think that the hysterical part about this whole situation is her parents. Dina is on the Today Show every other day, and Michael Lohan just talks to anyone with a camera that entertains him. Glee is supposed to worry about being “tasteless” yet both of her parents are using her problems to make themselves famous and keep themselves in the public eye. Remember when Britney Spears went nuts? At her worst, her father stepped in, got a conservatorship, and look who she is today. I’d say the same thing should happen for Lindsay, but neither of her parents are responsible nor selfless enough to truly take care of their daughter instead of themselves.

The reason the Lindsay jokes on Glee aren’t tasteless is because Lindsay Lohan is a joke. Her life is a circus, and it’s all thanks to herself and her family. She’s in the tabloids because she put herself there. I think a normal person in her circumstance would see the fact that she’s been an absolute mess, and truly worked on her sobriety and fixed her life. Instead, she feels she’s above the law and above any sort of rule or regulation, and she can do whatever she wants. It was about time that a judge put her in her place and sent her to jail, even if she got out early.

If she didn’t want to be in the news for being such a hot mess, she wouldn’t be such a hot mess. Over, and over, and over again.

And Dina and the rest of her family expect us to be sorry for her because she’s become a pop culture joke?

Instead of yelling at everyone else, try looking at the interior and see what you’ve done to your child and how you’ve enabled her in order to get yourself ahead.

When Lindsay Lohan decides to finally ACTUALLY get her life together, I say enough is enough with the jokes. But, we’ve put up with her reckless shenanigans taking over our news for years, without any sort of remorse or embarrassment. Being in the tabloids for her is her career, and she knows exactly what she’s doing. Until she stops treating the world as a joke, commenting on her rehab visits is an okay joke.

Lighten up, Lohans. It’s hard to feel sorry for you guys when you use the media to exploit yourselves. I’m sure Dina was thrilled with Glee so it gave her a chance to put herself back in the news.

My tip? Go away. Truly help your daughter get better WITHOUT putting yourself in the media. Help her before she kills herself. 

What do you guys think? Was the Glee joke okay, or tasteless?

Bullies Come In All Ages

**EDIT - After re-reading this, I'm afraid people might think that I'm talking about someone or someones (yes I made that a word) specific. This is the disclaimer letting everyone know that this post is NOT about anyone specific. Just a general train of thought after reading some stories in the news. So don't get on my case about it. Thanks :) 

I think a lot about bullying lately. With all of the stories in the news about teens committing suicide over their constant bullying (for whatever reasons). The statistics are staggering, and I thank God that I'm not in high school anymore and I don't have to deal with it.

Then when I sit back and really think about it, sometimes people are worse out of high school than they were in it.

And some people? They never grow up.

It's really important to learn from your mistakes and be a better person as a result.  No one is perfect, by any means. You'd think though that people would see their track records and move on from them as better people. You'd think.

I've learned that there are people out there who are relentless. Months or years after someone leaves high school or certain situations, there are still those people out there who tend to never forget it. They like to talk smack, all the time. But of course, never to the target's face. Takes too much courage to do something like that, and who needs courage when you can get together like a bunch of mindless chimps and laugh at someone else? The funniest to me is when people resort to the Internet to make their jabs at people. It's a sad thing to hide behind a computer screen to make comments and try to torment other people. Do you think that makes you a real man? All it makes you is a coward. And you will always be a coward.

I'm really supportive of the It Gets Better Project for gay youth. Millions of people making videos to let the world know that even though bullying in high school seems to have reached a whole new level of torment, life gets so much better out of high school. As most people grow up, they grow out of this obnoxious childish phase and learn how to be functional adult human beings. The thing is though, while it gets better, I can't say it ever gets easier. You'll still face challenges in your life. You'll still face those people who after months still think it's cute to write mean things about you on their social networking sites, even at 23 or 24 years of age. If you have a problem, sometimes people can move past it, sometimes people can't. Sometimes they just stop talking about the situation entirely and let it go, and sometimes people just need something to joke about because they have nothing else better to do, and you become the target.

The trick is how you deal with it.

Jabs always hurt, no matter how old you are. But when you realize who you really are, without the influence of others but including your own mistakes and pitfalls, that's when you'll shine. You don't need anyone to validate you, and their words just fall on deaf ears. You go to college, ignore the drama, make lifelong friends who have your back, get your degree, and make something of yourself.

Leave the haters back in high school where they belong.

Their words just aren't worth it. It may sting at first, but you'll realize how much better you are when you rise above it. Let them make their jokes, say their hurtful and usually untrue remarks about you. Those who entertain it weren't meant to be in your life in the first place. Those who realize how immature and childish it is are worth sticking around.

Intelligence and self worth are the key. Those who are attempting to make you feel bad lack both of those things.

I can honestly say that the older you get, the better you get at dealing with the hard times, and the harder you work, the more pay off there will be at the end.

Bullies aren't the end of the world. They aren't even in your world. Kick them out of it, and surround yourself with positive people who love and care about you.

Those are the people that are worth your time.

"Firework" Katy Perry

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag,
drifting through the wind
wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
like a house of cards,
one blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep?
6 feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave 'em falling awe-awe-awe

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"


Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through-ough-ough

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"
You're gonna leave 'em falling awe-awe-awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

How Can I Hate Hate?

I feel really uncomfortable today.

I started my morning watching a NOH8 campaign video posted on someone’s Facebook:



I then saw that the Westboro Baptist Church plans to picket the funeral of one of the soldiers from my hometown who died in Afghanistan.

For those who don’t know, the Westboro Baptist Church is based in Kansas, and according to their website they, “engages in daily peaceful sidewalk demonstrations opposing the homosexual lifestyle of soul-damning, nation-destroying filth. We display large, colorful signs containing Bible words and sentiments, including: GOD HATES FAGS, FAGS HATE GOD, AIDS CURES FAGS, THANK GOD FOR AIDS, FAGS BURN IN HELL, GOD IS NOT MOCKED, FAGS ARE NATURE FREAKS, GOD GAVE FAGS UP, NO SPECIAL LAWS FOR FAGS, FAGS DOOM NATIONS, THANK GOD FOR DEAD SOLDIERS, FAG TROOPS, GOD BLEW UP THE TROOPS, GOD HATES AMERICA, AMERICA IS DOOMED, THE WORLD IS DOOMED, etc” Yeah, that’s really what they say.

And my initial reaction? I HATE these people. I hate people that bully homosexuals until they feel like the only option they have is to end their lives so they don’t have to deal with the pain anymore. I hate these supposed “Christians” who hide behind vulgar hate speech to spread the word of God. I want all of these people to burn in hell for the hatred they spread and the lives they negatively effect just for their own kicks.

And then I had to stop myself. See that word? Hate? If I hate them, how does that make me any better than them?

And if I hate them, they’ve garnered the reaction out of me they were looking for. And they win.

It’s such a confused and complicated conflict to be in. How can I feel like this isn’t right and I want the world to know it, without encouraging their hatred with my own hatred back?

I asked my community (through my Facebook) to show up on the day of the funeral and blockade the family from the WBC. I asked them to do what a small town in Missouri did (here’s the story on that) and show up early to take all of the parking spaces. Use bodies to make sure the WBC gets nowhere near the funeral. But most importantly, do so PEACEFULLY. Do not engage them, do not scream at them, and do not enforce physical violence upon them. That makes you no better than they are. Instead, show them how true Americans, and how true people of God, act.

I am so troubled by the fact that, coming upon my 24th birthday, these kinds of issues exist in my world. I want to see a truly United States of America before I die, although I’m sure that will never happen. It’s so conflicting to feel like there’s nothing I can do to make homosexual teenagers (and even adults) feel like there’s NOTHING wrong with them and no matter how bad it gets, it always gets better. I feel like there’s nothing I can do to show soldiers that they don’t die in vain, and that even though there’s this small, miniscule population of hate-mongers in our country, they don’t speak for the whole.

Sometimes I wish people would just open their eyes. Accept people for who they are. And all live peacefully, whether we 100% agree with what our neighbors are doing or not.

I feel like I’ll never see that day. And that leaves me in tears.


To learn more about the "It Gets Better" Project, please visit their website. To help your veterans, please refer to my previous blog posting for a list of resources.

Veterans Day...

I found it comforting today when I signed on to Facebook to dedicate my status to our Veterans, and saw my news feed filled with the same sentiments.

Veteran’s Day occurs once a year; the day that we give thanks and praise for those who selflessly serve our country. Those people who leave their families for sometimes years at a time, to be shipped off to a foreign land and fight for our rights to live every single day in a safe world. Well, as safe as it can be. Sometimes they come home. Sometimes tragically, they don’t. 

And every year in November, for a day we recognize the sacrifice they gave so that we can carry on with our lives.

One day.

Then the next day, we go on with our lives.

Our soldiers are separated from their families for weeks and years, and we celebrate them for a day. Something just doesn’t compute here.

I don’t claim to ever know what a soldier goes through while they are deployed. I don’t even think my brain has the capacity to see what they’ve seen, do what they do, and live with life after the serve. I can’t even imagine the shock of returning to civilian life.

Everyone is initially as grateful as can be when our soldiers return home. Parades, shaking hands, signs, parties, news coverage; it’s a spectacle. All of which our soldiers deserve, no questions asked. But when the fanfare dies, and when the story is no longer newsworthy, are we doing what we can to support our troops when they come home?

Or is it a thank you for your time, good luck with your life back home. And then all is forgotten.

I can’t say I’m innocent in this at all. I do think about my veterans almost every day, but really I don’t have the resources to do more than I could be doing. I’m in the stage of my life where there’s so much I wish I could be doing that I just simply don’t have the resources to do. My dream is to work for a non-for-profit organization someday, but until then I’m stuck in school and working two jobs and just trying to get by. But since when does support only have to be monetary? What can I be doing for my friends who have returned from war, or those who are still deployed? What can I be doing for the soldiers in my community?

What can you be doing?

Why does it seem that we only care about our veterans and our servicemen when they are deployed?

Why aren’t we taking care of our veterans after their selfless service for our country?

My friend, who I call on Facebook “my favorite veteran” pointed me towards a website called Vets Prevail. It is a website that Provides support to veterans dealing with combat-related mental health issues such as post-traumatic stress disorder,  depression, and anxiety. It’s built by veterans, for veterans. It offers Veterans a chance to connect with other Veterans, as well as provides programs to help them during their post deployment and reintegration processes.

The website states, "The current mental health care crisis facing our Service Members is a very real problem with very real consequences. As a Veteran-owned company, we have a personal stake in the matter and intend to help all Veterans that are in need without ever charging a Veteran or military Family Member," says Richard Gengler, CEO of Prevail Health Solutions LLC, the parent company of Vets Prevail.

Where have organizations like this been? Our veterans need our help long after their deployment. They served for us, we should serve for them.

• According to this article from USA Today, Last year there were 244 confirmed or suspected soldier suicides.

• The National Coalition for Homeless Veterans states that:
• on any given night,107,000 veterans are homeless.
• Over the course of a year, approximately twice that many experience homelessness.
• Only eight percent of the general population can claim veteran status, but nearly one-fifth of the homeless population are veterans.

Why are we, as the Americans they fought to protect, allowing this to happen?

I won’t sit here and preach about what everyone else should do, because as stated I am not a Veteran. I just ask that today, on our national Veterans Day, you go to a Veteran you know, and ask them how they feel. Ask them what can be done.

Most importantly, ask how they can be supported after their return to civilian life.

I am damn proud to be an American, and it is all thanks to those who have fought and continue to fight for our freedom and our rights. It’s time we give back to those soldiers and their families who sacrifice so much for us.

Please Visit these websites and see what you can do to help: 

Vets Prevail

The National Coalition for Homeless Veterans

National Veterans Foundation

The Veterans Support Organization

Disabled American Veterans

This post is dedicated to Jessika Ross, Joshua Baugh, Ben Carpenter, Alex Morris, Hugh Coffman, Ed Martinez, in memory of my grandfather Alexander Dawson, and all the soldiers who fight for the United States of America. 

When Life Gives You Lemons...

Oh heyyyyyyyy blog. I’ve kind of neglected you for, what, eight months or so? My bad.


In my defense, I’ve been so busy and my life so consistently changes that I forget what I’m doing on a day to day basis anymore. I know it’s not an excuse, but YOU try working 3 jobs and going to school over the summer and see how that works out for you. Then once school started my life was so dramatic I didn’t feel like documenting it on my blog because it’s not something I’d like to remember years from now. I guess I feel that way about a lot of things that have happened in my life, but I’m stuck with them. It’s all about growing…or whatever.

Either way blog, I’m sorry. And I’m back. Well, for today at least.

I came to blog today because I’ve been feeling sorry for myself, and the only way to get over it is to really write it all down, read it, realize how stupid it is, and give myself a boost back to life. My car breaking down shouldn’t floor me, I mean seriously this damn car has caused me enough problems in my life, but it just brings up a bunch of what ifs.

• What if I stayed in Chatham and had worked full time?

• What if I did what my sister did and went straight into the workforce instead of going to college? Would I be better off in the long run?

• What if my dad didn’t turn out to be a selfish, alcoholic jerk who never takes responsibilities for his actions?

What if, what if, what if…

There’s about a million more I could write, but really what’s the point? I am where I am for a reason. I can’t look back on mistakes and falls because they aren’t going to change. They happened. I got back up again. And they’ll continue to happen. That’s just something I need to get used to.

I also need to stop seeing the bad things in my life as the worst things in my life. Every chip, crack, punch, fall, whatever I call it at the time, comes with a gold star. Being broke has lead to great job opportunities. Months of confusion and hardship has lead to clarity. Lost friendships have lead to better friendships. And while my car breaking down seems devastating to someone who depends on it so much, it could have been a lot worse had I not been in the position I am today. I have a boyfriend who, without question, worked his schedule to share his car with me so I could get to school and work. He calmed me down when I thought I was going to lose it (surprise to the people who know me: I tend to overreact). I have great friends who checked on me, made me laugh, gave me rides, and really grounded me to what my life is, which in all honesty is not that bad. My mass comm girls really made this semester the best.

I also have to make note of the friend who has been there for me since our Jr. High days. No matter what, she's always been there. Even if we don't talk as much as we used to or see each other as much as we should, she's still there for me 100%. She's one of the only people who truly knows me because she's been there through most of my life. If you're reading this, just know it's never gone unnoticed. I am a much stronger person because of everything I've learned from you.

I have my family, who no matter how much we pretend to hate each other on any certain situation, we love each other. We have everyone’s backs and make sure no one is stranded or in trouble, to the best of our ability. We may not be perfect, but we’re loyal. My mom works hard, my sister is the most amazing person I have ever known, and while my brother took a little longer than I would have liked, he finally got his shit together and I couldn’t be more proud. When my car broke down, even from over an hour away, I had the support. It was things like that that make me miss home the most. I don’t get much time to go home, and I never really realize how much it bothers me until things like this come up. I’m usually just to busy to notice.

I really spent my morning thinking about friendships, though. That’s the part that is seemingly a revolving door in my life. Sometimes it’s my fault, sometimes it’s not. Well, I guess I can go ahead and say it’s always my fault. I say that because I tend to trust people too easily. I tend to care more than I should, and while it works for a while, at some point it gets to me. It’s very rare to find someone who gives you just as much as you give them, and it takes me up until that moment to weed out the people who don’t give me what I give to them. They may hate me now, and there’s very few people in that category who I care whether they hate me or not, but it happens for a reason. It seems that even in these times, when you lose everything, you gain so much more. I always thought that was cliché until this semester. I had the chance to get closer to people I already had in my life, and become better friends with people who should have been there all along. My life took a while to balance out, but now, at least for the moment, it is.

It’s nice, though I don’t wish it on anyone, to finally have people I’m close to who understand what I’m going through and have or are going through the same things. I have one close friend from school, whom I spend almost all day, every day with. We are the lame ones who tried to get as many classes together as possible, but I’m so thankful for it. I get to see her every day, and whether we’re laughing, or crying, or having serious conversations, we’re always there for each other. She’s one of those people I wish knew how amazing she was, and never settled for less than what she’s worth. You know, one of those friends who’s been through enough in her life that you just want to give her the world. Through everything I’ve gone through this year, she’s listened, gave advice, and never judged me. It was so refreshing, and so when things got bad, I never felt that down about it. I knew I always had someone, and I can’t thank her enough for that.

Then, there is my other half. We took a little while to become friends over the summer, but now that we are I have no idea how life existed without her. She is the funniest, brightest, most talented person I think I have ever met. The first day I ever actually hung out with her, I shared with her things I haven’t told people before. I don’t think she’ll ever realize how truly amazing she is, but my god. She’s my hero (second to my sister, of course). When I was panicking about my car, in tears and not breathing, she fixed everything without me asking. She didn’t talk me through it, she just immediately set up someone to fix it and for a lot cheaper than what I thought I had to do. She’s what I’ve always looked for, someone who gives as much as she gets. I’ll go ahead and speak for both of us to say that we love our friendship equally because we give and take equally. She got me a job that I love, and I’m always down for her adventures. She talks me through my insanity, and I can do the same for her. For eva :)
Bah, so what is the point of my rambling? I was getting ready for school this morning and thought how I’d have ever gotten through the situation I’m in without my boyfriend, my family, and my other half, and the answer is I wouldn’t. I sometimes feel all alone in the world, because no one really has ever accepted me for who I am; faulted, emotional, usually blows things out of proportion, beaten down, used to failure. I have that group of people around me, and even the worse doesn’t seem so bad.

So when I get this depressed feeling, I want to look at this blog, and realize what I have as opposed to what I don’t have.


And what I have is amazing. So thank you for being a part of it.